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About Wroclaw

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Background

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on ul. 3 Maja. Best pastries in town, no cap. I grab a couple of pączki, and I’m ready to conquer the world. But then, I step outside, and boom! It’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, looking lost. Turns out, he’s a tourist. Poor guy’s trying to find the Lancut Castle. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in luck! I know the way.”

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